Coach Dawn Staley, Courage, & Authentic Leadership
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen.” – Brené Brown
On April 7, 2024, Dawn Staley and her South Carolina Gamecocks women's basketball team won the NCAA women’s championship. At the end of the game, ESPN reporter Holly Rowe interviewed Coach Staley to ask her how she felt. Coach Staley couldn't respond for a few moments because she was so overwhelmed by The Moment. In her tears, you saw the immense pressure she had been under and her immense expectations of herself - another National Championship, an undefeated season, redemption from last year’s shocking upset, the departure of all of her starters. In her tears, Coach Staley showcased her vulnerability and in doing so, demonstrated my number one lesson for authentic leaders - vulnerability shows your courage.
It is never easy for leaders to be vulnerable. But the payoff is extraordinary. The ability to feel seen. To share your truths with your world. And, in turn, to be seen as a leader who exemplifies both strength and humility. When we accept and commit to sharing our emotions as leaders, we open doors to creating healthy workspaces that foster team growth and promote trust.
However, there is the flip side. A public that is quick to judge and slow to forget. See, when we fear facing backlash, it can be difficult to express our authenticity. Defensiveness, minimizing, and biases lead us to keep our emotions to ourselves. We know the stereotypes of who cries at work. Or who shouldn’t cry at work. Or who gets angry in public. Those stereotypes often leave many of us without the runway to be vulnerable.
So what are a few ways we can safely express emotional vulnerability as a leader? Here are my three pieces of advice:
Use “I” statements: When we use “I” statements, especially when we make or oversee mistakes, it allows us to focus on our feelings and experiences and can minimize others’ defensiveness and the feeling of being blamed. You can then share the accountability - and the recovery.
2. Lead the Change: We all want workplaces where we feel understood and like we belong. So the work falls on us all to make those changes. Are you a leader who allows for honesty from your team? Do you encourage them to share their struggles? Do you share what you are struggling with? Do you welcome their feedback or do you shut that down? Do you create a healthy environment for people to feel like they can succeed?
3. Find Support: When I do my THRIVE at Work keynotes and workshops, I ask people to think about their retirement speeches. You know what they say? “I loved being here.” “I loved doing this work.” “I loved the people I worked with.” To paraphrase actress Danai Gurira, “Go where you are loved and you will do your best work.” You as a leader are going to build inclusive teams, but you also need to lean on one for yourself. Find a healthy, supportive leadership community at work that values your authentic contributions and validates you. In turn, you deliver your best work to them.
Expressing our emotional vulnerability is a sign of strength and courage. Most of all, it’s a sign of good leadership. That’s how we create safer, more authentic workplaces where we can all thrive, belong, and succeed.
Congratulations to Dawn Staley and to the South Carolina women’s basketball team. What a leader, what a legend, and what a legacy to leave behind.
Do the work
This week, I commit to acknowledging and understanding my own emotions, holding space for others, actively listening, and showing empathy for my colleagues.
Spread the word
If you want to keep going
Six Steps to Achieving Authentic Success at Work
Authentic is the Word of the Year!
And yet, in a world of social media bots, Photoshop fails, and generative AI, what does it really mean to show up authentically in our lives and at the place where we spend most of our days, at work? Based on my forthcoming book, I'll teach you my six steps to claiming real authentic success at work - at every level and for every generation.
I'll share my own career journey - the highs and lows - and showcase how embracing your identities, values, and life stories is the real secret to career success. Then, I'll teach my six steps to THRIVE at work: Tell Your Truth, High Five Your Impostor, Rewrite Your Road Map, Identify Your Champions, Value Your Self and Your Voice, and Embrace Your Community. Through storytelling, interactive discussions, case studies, and real-life examples, your attendees will leave with the certain knowledge of how to show up authentically and open doors to trust, loyalty, and enduring success in the workplace and beyond.
