Four Strategies for Bystander Intervention
"You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right." — Rosa Parks
How to be an Upstander?
Good morning from beautiful Amsterdam! The last time I was here, I was 25 and staying in a hostel room with 20 other people. 16 years and many journeys later, it's wonderful to be back.
As I travel across Europe over the next month, I've thought of some topics I'd like to share that typically come up in my travels. Next week, I'll talk about battling stereotypes. Later, holding space for civil dialogue. But today, let's dive into something harder. What happens when you see harassment and discrimination? What can you do about it? Here are my two cents on bystander intervention.
Simply put, to intervene as a bystander is to return dignity, power, and agency to a person being harassed. The work of being an upstander is also recognizing and understanding the privileges that we have, and using our position of privilege to stand up.
To get started as an active upstander, learn and use these strategies for bystander intervention.
Four Strategies for Bystander Intervention
1. Distract
You don't want to directly confront the person doing the harassing. Instead, you distract them from the person being harassed. Drop your keys in front of them. Send a gif in the group chat. Talk to the person being harassed. Use whatever you can to divert attention and stop the harassment from occuring.
2. Delegate
You have assessed the risk of intervening along with the likelihood of success, and you believe that the person doing the harassing would respond better to intervention from another person. You reach out to someone else - a peer, a supervisor, another bystander - and they intervene instead.
3. Delay
You chose not to intervene in the moment. Or it happened quickly and the moment passed. Or you didn't feel safe. But now that it is over and you want to make sure the person who was being harassed feels safe and supported. Ask if they need help. See if there's anyone you can call. Let them know that you witnessed what happened and it was not OK.
4. Direct
You have assessed your safety and the safety of the person being harassed and decided to directly confront the person doing harassing. You ask them to stop. You tell them to leave the person alone. You physically move in between them. All of those are ways to directly intervene.
Whenever I do my bystander intervention trainings I ask attendees to do one thing. I'll ask the same of you - center the person being harassed so they know they are safe. What would make them safe? What would make them whole? Whenever we intervene as bystanders, the goal should always remain the same - to build a supportive and welcoming environment where everyone can stay and thrive.
Enjoy your summers, my friends, and I'll talk to you again soon from (checks calendar) Dubrovnik!
Do the work
This week, I commit to educating myself on bystander intervention, pushing myself to become an active upstander, and demonstrating to others how to effectively intervene when they witness acts of discrimination and harassment.
We Are Not a Melting Pot
If you want to keep going
Across the globe, words have become so charged that debates and discussion quickly veer into anger and accusations. We see it again and again, in our workplaces, our homes, our schools, our lives. And yet, we cannot move forward on inclusion and belonging unless we can successfully share our own perspectives while recognizing the perspectives of others. But having those conversations without the right preparation can lead to anger, frustration, and the belief that tackling difference is not worth all the conflict it brings. That’s where A More Perfect Union enters.
In A More Perfect Union, we start with the possibility, or why these differences matter in our world. Then we move into the reality, using charged phrases and fragmented identites to understand how we became polarized in our silos. Next, we address the solution – civility – the fundamental basis of our shared civilization. Finally, we end with the ten steps we can all take starting now to rebuild a civilization centered on dignity, empathy, respect, and a more perfect union for us all.
