Talking Across Differences This Election Season
"Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself." – Mohsin Hamid
How Do We Communicate Better?
We are less than a month away from our presidential elections here in the United States. During election seasons in particular, we see tensions flare among different identity groups or political groups. When we interact with each other through very different filters of culture, language, and experience and then take into account the stereotypes and biases we each hold, we can piece together why it can be so difficult to have successful conversations across identity groups and about identity groups.
What are some other reasons we find it hard to communicate? We are uncomfortable. We are scared. We have stereotypes. It’s better we don’t speak at all about differences—different races, religions, backgrounds, genders, sexual orientations, and political points of view. And then we're worried. We're worried if we talk about those differences, we'll say the wrong thing. We'll get yelled at. We'll get canceled. We just don't know what to say. And so we say nothing at all.
There has to be a different way. So here's how I'd like you to start instead. With empathy.
Empathy asks us to recognize the perspective that someone else is bringing into a situation and use that perspective to better inform our understanding and the way we treat that other person.
Everyone comes at this from a different perspective. But for those who have suffered biases, exclusion, and living permanently in the out-group, this is not just an academic discussion. This is real, lived pain. On the flip side, for those who are unequipped to have these conversations, and are trying to start, this isn’t easy either. Some may have tried and been told they were wrong and so never did it again. Some may never have tried because they had no idea what to say. Some may have intentionally been saying and doing hurtful actions and are trying to learn how to better.
We are on a planet with 8 billion other people. 8 billion. That’s trillions of different perspectives, ideas, thoughts and fears and hopes and dreams. 8 billion people who believe that what they think is the truth. 8 billion.
So, how do we start to have better conversations? Remember that the person we're communicating with is a human being who we can display empathy toward. If we are communicating across difference, whichever side of the power dynamic we are on, have empathy. That’s how we build real trust. And that comes from empathy.
Because we may stumble as well. We may say the wrong thing. We may hurt someone else. If we build spaces that are hypercritical, that are defensive, that are one strike and you’re out, that don’t allow for learning, that mock people who stumble, then we are going to receive the same treatment when we make our own mistakes. That environment we are building isn't just for someone else. It's for you as well.
Empathy requires us to shift our thinking. That’s exactly what I want for all of us.
Check out my tips below and see how they work for you. I'll talk some more about them in my upcoming newsletters.
Do the work
This week, I commit to learning the above steps for better communication and using them to start having better conversations across identity differences.
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Welcome to the next generation.
Join me for my free October webinar, From Woodstock to TikTok, and learn how to successfully navigate generational differences at work. In this highly interactive and engaging program, I use news clips, commercials, music, and cultural touchpoints to navigate attendees through a world of inter-generational communication and changing dialogue. We learn the history of the generations in the workplace, how each generation puts its own unique stamp on their organizations, and how best to recognize, engage with, and grow from the challenges presented by these differences. The goal, as always, is to build a workplace centered on inclusion and belonging for all of us.
